I was just telling my mom a few weeks ago how I think this is the least stressed out I have ever been in my life. I was just not made to work full time outside of the home, Before we had Owen I was working 30 hours a week (at a job I loved) but was still a little too much for me.
Life just seems so simple right now - I love it!!! I love being able to just play with Owen and not worry about time (for the most part). It is awesome that I can stay in pajamas till 3:00pm and no one cares. Our house can be a wreck and I can blame it on the fact that I have a 20 month old!
But at the same time I feel like this is the most complicated my life has ever been. There is a lot to read between the lines of "Raise a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not turn from it." How do I raise a child in the way he should go? When do I know what offense to spank for? How do I stop something from becoming a habit of sin in his life?
We just got done doing a study at church on the life of Christ and going through Luke. One of the main things I came away with is that the disciples were a little bit slow, to say the least. Fortunately for me millions of people do not read about my mistakes like we can the disciples'. We are so depraved we do not even realize how depraved we are.
Anyone who does not think that men are sinful should have a child. WOW! Owen has just started a new stage of complete defiance that I am not ready for. That makes life complicated!! Jay and I have had numerous conversations over the last few months about discipline. We want the same end but we just don't always agree on the means to get there. I guess we will keep having these conversations for the next twenty some years. :)
Above all, we long for Owen to grow up as a man who loves his Savior. One other main point I came across in the study was God's mercy and grace. He continued to stay with the disciples even though they kept missing the mark and even though they abandoned Him at His death (and He knew they would). I am realizing more and more everyday that I am just like the disciples and need grace everyday for raising Owen, my thought life and my attitudes that so many of you have probably seen. In the holiday season that we are in I am so thankful for many things but I am most blown away by God's grace and mercy in my life.
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9 comments:
These are certainly challenging things to think about!
Jodi, I couldn't agree more with your statement that having a child reveals how sinful our hearts are. You can see how we truly are born into sin - it's our "default" setting. And having children hasn't made me more sinful, but it's certainly brought OUT more sin from my heart than I ever knew existed before!
If I can offer my 2 cents worth, one thing I've learned in the past several years is that consistency is the key - definitely not easy, but if Owen knows what to expect and his boundaries are fixed, he will be a much happier person (and so will you!). Also . . . LOTS of prayer!! :)
(I laugh every time I see Owen's pic in the new directory)
we have our new directories???!!!
i echo charity's advice - be consistent. be creative, too. for each of my children it was a different form of discipline/punishment that worked for them.
sometimes i even pretended to give them a choice of punishments - and then gave them the one they DIDN'T choose. (that won't continue to work for long, but at least you find out which is more effective once or twice ;)
and realize that it will take all the the 20 or so years you have to complete his training....
i'm right with you on the being at home thing. yes, sometimes we are still in our pjs at 3 and the house is a wreck (it's my kids' fault! :))
discipline is a large topic and you've asked some thought-provoking questions. i would say one of the most important lessons we learned as we had more children was that not everything was an offense. we tried to spank for things that were a definite sin, such as, lying, outright disobedience, sassing...
i don't know of any couple who totally agree on discipline. it is imperative that you support one another in front of Owen (even if you do not agree). kids soon learn how to work mom & dad to their favor! Jerald & i were recently talking about the way we balance each other out; when one of us is totally worked up about something, the other is more calm and vice versa.
and then there's the whole arena of discipline that doesn't require spanking, but something more like training (imo)- respect for each other, respect for adults, respect for things, quietness, manners, etc.
being an example of Godly living is one of the best ways you can train as a parent. if Owen hears one thing out of your mouth and another out of your life, he will be very confused.
"Anyone who does not think that men are sinful should have a child"-- amen! like we heard at church, "vipers in diapers". :)
"I am realizing more and more everyday that I am just like the disciples and need grace everyday"-- amen and amen!
Thanks for all your comments! I love having friends ahead of me in life to give some advice on parenting.
I am so grateful to have parents who were very consistent with their discipline (although at the time I was not). :) And like Margaret said they were always on the same team (I need to learn to shut my mouth).
Again I am thankful for God's grace because I know there are going to be many of times I fail in this area :(
hey sister, wow! i haven't left a comment on anyone's blog for such a long time! (I have a few extra minutes ;)) Anyway, my two cents? okay, i think what the 4 above are saying is right on. "These are definately challenging things to think about!" "Consistancy IS key," and thanks be to God that He's put women like Dee and Margret in our lives to help us be godly wives, and mothers!
Disciplining is never-ending, either in the form of a spanking, or (when they get older)~ teaching them God's word about sin, and how it affects your relationship with Christ. And like Jessi said, having mature woman around, that have raised children, and have experience, are soooooo helpful. I am so thankful for the older women God has placed around me! Some/most of my "good" parenting skills, have come from Godly women I have seeked out for advice. Also, every child is different, so you have to find what works for each child. Even with having 6 children from the same mom and dad, each of them are sooo different, one of them has had more spankings than I want to remember, while one only has to know that we are displeased with them and they break. Praise God for His word, and for giving us mentors that can guide us! I also want to add that I know I gave credit to the women mentors, but there are some great male mentors in our church. I am so thankful that Cleyo also has experienced fathers that he can seek out, starting with Daniel Pierce, whom mentored Cleyo while he was a young believer and father.
I have no advice to give... I am here learning for MY future. But I did want to tell you Jodi, I think you are a very good mommy to Owen. You are an example to me! May God give you the grace and strength to continue to teach Owen more about Him. Love you!
sara - you have a blog? i'd love to read your thoughts :)
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